


Happy Birthday Wolverine

by orphan_account



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday Parties, Crack, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, party hats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 23:31:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A surprise party for Wolverine at the mansion. His birthday present? Rim jobs. A bunch of rim jobs.<br/>---<br/>CHINESE TRANSLATION AVAILABLE <a href="http://www.mtslash.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=127338&page=1&extra=#pid2400870">HERE</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday Wolverine

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOMOSADPORNIEN!!!
> 
> I hope this lives up to your dreams. I still think you should totally write a version of this, but I couldn't resist doing one of my own, since it's your birthday. And you're the best. I'm so glad we are friends. <3 <3 <3
> 
> Sorry if there are mistakes. I wrote this like at ass o'clock in the morning very tired and haven't proofread. In case "Wolverine getting rimmed by everyone for his birthday" isn't enough of a giveaway, this 100% porny crack.

The mansion is silent. Shit, Logan thinks to himself, this can’t be good. With a SNIKT, his adamantium claws are out. He’s ready for whatever assholes are lurking in the dark. He can smell that almost the whole team is there, but they’re anxious about something. There’s a cloyingly sweet smell too. What the hell. He growls softly, making his way down the halls to where the scent is strongest-- the kitchen. He flips on the light.

“SURPRISE!!!” The professor, Scott, Jean, Ororo, Rogue, Remy, Piotr and Bobby jump out at him. (Well the professor doesn’t jump as much as he kinda lurches towards him in the chair.) They all have party hats on. There’s a huge stupid looking pink Barbie cake in the middle of the room. Fuck. It’s his birthday.

“Whose genius idea was it to throw me a surprise party?”

Jean quirks an eyebrow at him. “Actually Logan, it was my idea.”

No one has been able to cow him for years, but Jean comes the closest. “Oh...well...thanks?” He lets his claws retract. “But what’s the deal with this cake?”

Two hands clap his shoulders from behind and he hears the most annoying voice in the world. “SURPRISE!” Ugh. Deadpool.

“Who invited this asshole?”

Wade Wilson spins him around. “I’m shocked and hurt, Wolvie, after all we’ve been through together…”

“I need a beer.”

Fortunately, Rogue and Remy were on booze duty, so there’s enough beer and bourbon there to make a party at Stark’s look like a church luncheon. Logan doesn’t admit it, but the cake isn’t bad. The kids are all in the city for the night with Kitty and Jubilee, so even Ororo and Scott are letting loose. Wade is saying something to Piotr that’s making the young Russian blush, and Logan is about to go over there and 86 the guy when Xavier stops him. “Don’t worry Logan. I’ve got a good grasp on him and won’t let him do anything too horrendous. Just enjoy your party.” Xavier pats him on the back, but must miss or something because he’s drinking too, and ends up patting Logan on the ass.

There’s music playing. It’s some crappy pop group that Jubilee has confessed to liking. Jean and Scott are dancing, and what the fuck, it’s HIS birthday, he should get a dance, so he pushes Scott out of the way and dips Jean dramatically. She laughs, because she not so secretly loves watching them fight over her, and wraps her arms around Logan’s neck drunkenly. Scott opens a beer and glowers at them, apparently not looking to start a fight during a birthday party.

Fuck that. The birthday boy loves fights. He gets right in Scott’s face. “Kiss my ass Summers!”

“What if I do?” Cyclops is slurring a little. They’re admittedly all pretty wasted.

Logan snorts, unbuttoning his jeans and turning around, baring his furry muscular ass to Scott. “Go for it bub. All you can eat.” And everyone has stopped what they’re doing and are watching intently to see what Scott does.

Much to Wolverine’s surprise, what Scott does is shrug his shoulders and kneel down. “Fuck you Logan,” he says with a sneer, and uses his thumbs to spread Logan’s cheeks apart. Scott’s blushing furiously, probably never done this before. His brow is furrowed though and he places a kiss against Logan’s hole. Scott’s lips are dry but it feels good anyways. The air is suddenly thick with the smell of arousal-- everyone’s arousal. Logan takes a glance around the room and everyone is eyeing his ass hungrily.

“Move over Summers and let the master show you how it’s done,” and before Logan can say anything, oh fuck, no wonder they call him the merc with the mouth. Deadpool is swirling his tongue around the tight pucker of Logan’s ass, slurping obscenely. He’s still talking though, the vibration buzzing around Logan’s sensitive opening, words completely muffled.

Logan’s clothes are coming off seemingly on their own. He looks over to Jean-- fucking telekinesis-- and she winks, turning to whisper something into Rogue’s ear. They both laugh and raise their glasses to him before drinking. Wilson is still going, gloved hands gripping Logan’s ass tightly, hard enough to bruise a normal person. He’s spearing his tongue into Logan’s hole, thrusting fast. He does one last long suck on the rim before leaning back on his heels. “And that ladies and gentleman is how you eat an ass.”

Before Logan can catch his breath, Ororo is in front of him. “On your hands and knees Logan,” she says softly. God is leather a good look on her. Jean manages to whisk away his boots and socks and jeans, so he’s on his hands and knees on the kitchen floor of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters completely naked except for a party hat. Ororo kneels behind him, swatting his ass a few times instead of continuing where Deadpool left off. She builds up to a rhythm-- she’s hitting his ass hard and precise, amping up the power as she goes until Logan’s backside is bright cherry red and hot (his healing kicks in too fast for it to last long, but he’s still impressed by her moves.) She bends down, digging her nails into the meat of his thighs, and nips at the red sensitive flesh while it’s still red and sensitive. Only then does Ororo lean in and rim him slow and sensuous. Her tongue is small and warm and fucking fantastic.

By the time she’s done, Logan has leaked a significant pool of precome onto the kitchen floor. He’s moaning and growling and wants MORE. Ororo pats him on the ass and murmurs “happy birthday Logan,” before standing up and walking away. There’s a pause to see who goes next.

“Come on bubs, this ass isn’t going to eat itself.”

Piotr and Bobby approach cautiously. This should be good, Logan thinks to himself. He cranes his head around and wiggles his ass at them. He wishes he could get a better look at what they’re doing back there. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, the professor starts feeding him images of what he’s seeing. Piotr has shifted to his steel form, and he and Bobby are crouched behind him making out. Huh. When Piotr’s lips reach Logan’s hole, they’re fucking freezing cold. Literally freezing. Iceman freezing. Logan yelps at the shock of the cold metal against his hot skin. It feels amazing. Hard and smooth and cold but quickly warming up. Two warm steel hands grip his hips and pull. Piotr thrusts his tongue into Logan’s asshole. FUCK that’s cold. But good. It’s firm. He gets why stainless steel is such a popular sex toy material. Bobby Drake, the little shit, sneaks a hand under him and teases his nipples with icy fingertips while Piotr tonguefucks Logan’s ass. The professor can see that both young men are hard, so Logan can see that too (thanks Chuck!), and fuck are they hot. Logan makes a mental note to get in on whatever the two of them have going on at a later point.

Next up is Remy, and Logan is rolling his eyes at the cajun’s “bon appetit” joke until skilled thumbs massaging his ass make his eyes roll up into his head. “Mmmmmm mon chéri.” He ghosts his lips up Logan’s thighs, rubbing a stubbled cheek against the soft thick hair that covers most of Logan’s body. It’s excruciating. It feels like hours before Remy is finally licking a stripe up from Logan’s balls to the tight furl of his asshole.

“Oh for fuck’s ssake, get ON with it,” Rogue drawls, having given up on glasses entirely now just drinking straight out of the bottle. She straddles Logan’s back, a gloved hand steadying herself, and playfully shoves Remy’s face between Logan’s cheeks. “Thass better.” Remy’s slick seductive rim job quickly turns wild and frantic under Rogue’s urging. Logan looks down and isn’t surprised to see his cock is angry and purple. He starts to reach for it when Rogue slaps his hand away. “Ah sswear to Christ Logan you’re gonna cum from bein’ eaten out or ah’m gonna ssuck the life right out of you through your asshole.” He can feel Remy smiling, the fuckhead. But he puts his hand back down anyways.

When Remy pulls away, Rogue stands up and kisses him. “Mmm sugar you taste great!” Then Wolverine is floating in the air. He’s still getting the professor’s view piped into his head, so he knows what’s happening.

“Is that a good height Professor?”

“Yes Jean, that’s perfect.”

Xavier noses at Logan’s hole before licking around the entrance. He deepens their mind link, so Logan is smelling and tasting what Xavier smells and tastes, feeling what he feels, in addition to what he’s already experiencing with his own senses. It’s heady and overwhelming.

<<Rogue is right you know, Logan. You taste marvelous.>> Xavier seals his lips around Logan’s asshole and sucks hard. He does tricks with his tongue that suggest an expertise in a lot more than just human mutation. Logan is lost in sensation, not just his and Xavier’s, but that of everyone present-- Xavier is piping it all into his brain.

And then there’s a different mouth on him, a different voice in his head. <<Hi Logan.>> He can feel Jean’s smirk. Her lips are small and soft, and she’s using her telekinesis to tug at the hairs on his balls and around his nipples. Scott is scowling at them, and Logan can feel his annoyance. The combination of that and Jean’s tongue darting in and out of him, swirling clockwise and counterclockwise and then in and out again, has Logan desperate to cum. “Chuck?”

They start up a round of “Happy Birthday,” and when they’re done and cheering and blowing noise makers and Wade is doing a kind of Al Joleson-y “And many more,” Logan feels the professor smile warmly and effortlessly manipulate his brain into cumming. He shoots rope after rope of thick semen onto the kitchen floor, muscles clenching around Jean’s tongue, as his teammates cheer him on.

It is a happy birthday. Maybe the happiest he’s ever had. 


End file.
